chapter 8 Flashcards
What is a relationship
a connection, association, or attachment that people have with each other
3 types of relationships
Platonic: a close relationship that is not physical
Intimate: close and deeply personal contact with another
Interdependent: a relationship in which people need each other or depend on each other in some way
Relationship characteristics -
Duration: length of time or relationship
Contact frequency: how often one communicates with the other person
Sharing: the process of revealing and disclosing information about oneself to another
Support: the ability to provide assistance, aid, or comfort to another
Interaction variability: the ability to talk about various topics
Goals: expectations about how the relationship will function and operate
What’s the purpose of a relationship?
3 categories of relationships:
- Work-related
- Task-related
- Social reasons
What makes a good relationship? -
- Meaningful and beneficial
- Allow people to grow psychologically, emotionally, and physically
Reason for attraction -
Physical proximity: commonplaces create opportunities to meet others
Physical attractiveness: important at the beginning of a relationship
Disclosure: when mutual and appropriate, increases support and trust
Similarities:
- compatibility: can partners exist together harmoniously
- similarity thesis: people with similar cultural, ethnic, or religious backgrounds are typically drawn to each other for this reason
- differences
- complementary relationships
Exchange theory
People form relationships with people who can offer us rewards that outweigh the costs
Rewards are tangible or intangible things that people want
Costs are undesirable things that people don’t want to expend a lot of energy on
Good relationships have fewer costs and more rewards
Bad relationships will have more costs and fewer rewards
Consider the alternatives to the relationship
Comparison level: the minimal standard of what is acceptable in a relationship
Comparison level of alternatives: comparison of what is happening in the relationship and what could be gained in another relationship
How do relationships start?
Initiating: a person is interested in making brief contact
Experimenting: small talk occurs as individuals search for commonalities
Intensifying: one expresses feelings of attraction towards the other person
Integrating: individuals take on a new identity as a social unit, giving up their old selves
Bonding: a public announcement is made that the relationship exists
How do relationships end?
Differentiating: both people figure out their own identities
Circumscribing: communication decreases, more arguments and working late, less intimacy
Stagnating: the relationship is motionless, communication is restrained and awkward
Avoiding: one creates distance from their partner
Terminating: parties decide to end the relationship and how
How do you maintain a relationship?
Partners need…
Strategies to help the relationship be successful and satisfying
Stabilization point between relationship initiation and potential relationship deconstruction
Types of strategies
Avoidance strategies
Balance strategies
Direct strategies
Relationship maintenance behavior
-Positivity
-Openness
-Assurances
-Sharing tasks
-Social networks
-Conflict-management
-Advice
Relationship maintenance
-Relationships will worsen if they are not maintained
-Both partners must feel that there are equal benefits and sacrifices in the relationship for it to sustain
-Maintenance behaviors depend on the type of relationship
-Maintenance behaviors can be used independently or in conjunction with each other
How does communication impact relationships?
Relationship changes are usually dependent upon communication
Relationship level:
the type of relationship between people evidenced as through their communication
Complementary: one person fulfills the other person’s needs
Symmetrical relationship: partners view themselves as equals within the relationship
Content level:
information communicated through denotative and literal meanings of words
What are relationship dialectics?
Dialectics: the pushes and pulls found everyday in all types of relationships
Interpersonal interactions provide a way for couples to have the flexibility needed to maintain individuality while maintaining a satisfactory, cohesive union
Life is a social process of dialogue
Relationships manage tensions that cannot be fully resolved
Tensions are both contradictory and interdependent
Dialectical Tension
All personal relationships are in a constant state of flux and contradiction
Contradiction is the opposing side to a situation
Rise is when both parties are considered interdependent
Tension is natural and inevitable
Contradictions need to be met with a “both/and” approach
Dialectical tension is how individuals deal with relationship struggles
Relational Dialectics Theory
Separation - integration
Predictability - novelty
Openness - closedness
Similarity - difference
Ideal - real
How do you manage dialectical tensions?
Denial: individuals respond to one end
Disorientation: individuals who feel overwhelmed fight, freeze, or leave
Alternation: individuals choose one end on different occasions
Recalibration: individuals reframe situation or perspective
Segmentation: individuals compartmentalize different areas
Balance: individuals manage and compromise their needs
Integration: individuals blend different perspectives
Reaffirmation: individuals have the knowledge and accept their differences
Why is self-disclosure important in
relationships?
Disclosure is important for mental health and well-being
* Potential reasons for disclosure
* Expression
* Self-clarification
* Social value
* Relationship development
* Social control and influence
What do you
need to
consider when
disclosing info?
Four considerations important for
disclosure
* Type of relationship
* Risk-to-benefits ratio
* Appropriateness and relevance to
the situation
* Reciprocity
Alternatives to
Self-Disclosure
Deception
Equivocate: An individual doesn’t
answer the question or provide
comments, rather they simply
restate the information presented
Hint: Use indirect or face-saving
comments
Romantic
relationships
Love: A multidimensional concept
that can include several different
orientations toward the loved person
* Involves several psychological
features:
* Desire for emotional closeness
* Caregiving
* Emotional dependency
* Separation anxiety
* Willingness to sacrifice
How can dating be categorized?
Communication expectations
* Date goals
* Date elements
* Dyadic
* Feelings
Script Theory
- Individuals pattern their responses and behaviors during different social
interactions in order to take control of the situation - Creating the script requires the individual to imagine their past,
present, and future
Dating Scripts
- Individuals learn patterns of dating behavior from cultural models
- Dating narratives help create dating scripts
Six Love Styles
Love styles: an attitude influencing an individual’s perception of love
* Eros: Romantic love involving serial monogamous relationships
* Storge: Love developing slowly out of friendship
* Ludic: Love in which games involving lying and deceit are played
* Agape: Selfless love in which the needs of others are prioritized
* Pragma: Love involving logic and reason
* Mania: Obsessive love that is insecure and requires constant
reassurance
