Chapter 4

Question 1

Define The House Of Self (Briggs): what two questions is it guided by?

Answer 1

explains how self esteem is built, guided by two questions:

1) Does this ENCOURAGE or DIScourage my child’s sense of self worth?
2) would I like to be my own child?

Question 2

attitudes and behaviours that discourage children: (5)

Answer 2

1) negative expectations of their children
2) unreasonably high demands
3) competition between or among children
4) being overly ambitious
5) setting double standard

Question 3

behaviours that encourage children: (ABUSA)

Answer 3

1) APPRECIATE child’s uniqueness
2) BUILD on child strengths
3) USE humour in interactions
4) SHOW confidence in child
5) AVOID mixed messages

Question 4

what are 4 goals of child misbehaviour?

Answer 4

1) gain attention (when they are lacking)
2) gain power (regain control)
3) goal of revenge (hurt from past reactions to attention/power seeking)
4) display of inadequacy: “what’s the use?”

Question 5

how NOT to respond to child misbehaviour (4)

Answer 5

1) cater to attention seeking
2) react angrily or lose control
3) focus or expose hurt feelings to child’s misbehaviour
4) give up in despair

Question 6

prevention of child misbehaviour: (SHEG)

Answer 6

1) SHOW interest when not misbehaving
2) HELP child become self aware of misbehaviour
3) EMPOWER and foster self esteem in child
4) GIVE child feeling of autonomy

Question 7

What are the steps to communicating with an I-message? (FUT)

Answer 7

1) feelings of the sender
2) unacceptable behaviour by recipient
3) tangible effect of behaviour on the sender

Question 8

in what ways does guidance prevent problems? (5)

Answer 8

1) establish atmosphere of psychological safety/strong sense of self esteem
2) use technique of encouragement
3) Four Pluses and a Wish
4) Four GOALS of MISBEHAVIOUR of children for misbehaviour
5) improvement of communication: problem ownership, active-listening, I-messages