Ch 11: Conflict Flashcards
Interpersonal Conflict
When a person’s motives, goals, beliefs, or opinions differ from another person’s
Conflict
Occurs when one’s wishes/actions obstruct those of another person’s
Dialectics
Opposing motivations in a relationship
Peterson’s (2002) 4 Categories of Conflict
- Criticism
- Illegitimate demands
- Rebuffs
- Cumulative annoyances
Criticism
Verbal/nonverbal acts that show unjust dissatisfaction with another person
Illegitimate Demands
Unjust requests that exceed the normal expectations of one’s partner
Rebuff
When one person rejects their partner in an abrupt way
Cumulative Annoyances
Trivial events that become annoying over time
Actor-Observer Effect
Partners will have external explanations for their actions and internal ones for other people
Self-Serving Bias
People judge their own actions more favourably than they do others
Attributional Conflict
Fighting over who’s right and who’s wrong
Unintentional Conflict
Associated with external causes
Intentional Conflict
Associated with internal causes
We’re more likely to voice our opinions on thing our partners ____
Can change (rather than things they can’t change)
Peterson’s General Model of Conflict
- Avoidance: both partner ignore the issue
- Negotiation: problem-solving to resolve conflict
- Escalation: conflict heats up and more issues are thrown into the mix
Negative Affect Reciprocity
Partners trade escalating provocations back and forth
Demand/withdrawal patterns
One partner complains, criticizes, and pressures for change, while the other avoids the situation
Negotiation
Partners work towards a solution in a sensible way
Keys to negotiation
- Be optimistic
- Value your partner’s opinion
- Take a break from the discussion
Rusbult’s 4 Types of Responses
- Voice
- Loyalty
- Exit
- Neglect
Voice
Trying to improve the situation by discussing problems
Loyalty
Waiting for conditions to improve
Exit
Leaving/threatening to leave an argument, or yelling/hitting your partner
Neglect
Avoiding issues
Gottman’s 4 Types of Couples
- Volatile
- Validators
- Avoiders
- Hostiles
Volatiles
Frequent and passionate arguments
Fight often, but make up with wit and fondness
Validators
Have heated fights, but show empathy and understanding
Avoiders
Rarely argue and avoid confrontation
Hostiles
Have harmful arguments (4 horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, withdrawal)
Pseudo-Conflict
Conflict triggered by a lack of understanding
Simple Conflict
Conflict that stems from different ideas/perceptions
Ego Conflict
Conflict that is based on personal issues
Expressive Conflict
Conflict that focuses on issues about the quality of the relationship
Instrumental Conflict
Conflict that centres around achieving a specific goal
The ‘what happened’ Conversation
Explore each other’s side of the story
The ‘feelings’ Conversation
Understand/share/manage your feelings and recognizing the feelings of your partner
The ‘identity’ Conversation
What’s at stake in the relationship?
Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication Model
I observe, I feel, I need, I request
Collaborating
Involves an attempt from both partners to resolve an issue
Competing
Involves one partner that pursues their own interest at their partner’s expense
Avoiding
Occurs when neither partner wants to address the issue and ignores it altogether with no resolution
Accomodating
Occurs when one partner pushes their wishes aside in order to resolve a conflict and satisfy the wishes of their partner
Compromising
involves both partners finding a satisfying and mutually acceptable resolution
