CBT Flashcards
6 Rumination Techniques
1) Notice and name “I am runinating”
2) Limit - postpone to a later le scheduled time
3) attention shifting - the present moment, people & senses, action-oriented is best!
4) abstract o concrete - focus on 1-2 small things you can do NOW!!
5) overthinking to values - what do I want more of?
4)
Types of rumination.
Ruminating about the past
Over analyzing decisions
Working about the future
Social anxiety
Bad thinking habbits / distortions
1) jumping to negative conclusiongs - instead let’s assume positive intent
2) overgeneralizing - something happens 1 time and we think it’ll happy many times for forever
3) black and white thinking - thinking everything is absolute, fixed
4) over emphasizing the negative - instead explicitly call out the positives!! FOCUS HERE
5) using feelings to gauge what is so / truth - and then justifying. feelings are transient, biochem., etc. Need to base whatt is real and truth on other things than emotion
ALL have this in common - WE HAVE CREATED MEANING FROM THIN AIR - From what’s so today.
From that we’ve created an entire story.
“instead I’ve got an exciting challenge in front of me!” this is exactly what I need to succeed!
Thoughts = Results!
Thoughts > Beliefs > Actions > Results
WE ARE IN DIRECT CONTROL OF OUR THOUGHTS!
We have direct control over what thoughts we create.
questions to ask:
1) have other people like me done what I want? - answer will always be yes!
2) have others before me had same positive or negative beliefs. yes they can adopt positive!
3) what did I just make that mean? (what is the story we just told ourselves about doing something?) e.g. PE networking “they won’t respond” - instead “they are looking for people exactly like me!”
Most immportant belief!
I CAN CHOSE WHO I WANT TO BE AND CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR IN EACH MOMENT!
I AM A MASTER OF BEHAVIOR CHANGE AND LEARNING
MESSAGING ORDER
ALWAYS START WITH THE POSITIVE FRAME AND THEN MOVE TO EMPATHY AND ANY LESS THAN POSITIVE NEWS
Bad tends to stick and people remember it.
Work on saying influencing only the positive and making it accessible!
MOST IMPORTANT DAILY EXERCISE
2 STATEMENTS OF GRATTITUDE!
Reframing habit
Bad story >
ID as Silly =, made up, bad story! >
Tell a positive story instead! Make up 5-6 other stories!
Also make up 1 positive, silly, and ridiculous story to drive the point!
Say these are all just made up stories!
Mental hack - by thinking of many other stories we’ll convince ourselves that all of these stories are made-up, subjective, and allow ourselves to disconnect and put less weight in each.
Story checks:
1) is my story truthful?
2) is my story kind? - Reminder - I value trusting others and giving others the benefit of the doubt!
3) does my story allow for actions
When feeling stuck in a situation?
1) take a break
2) do some activity that makes you feel calm and open - walk, guitar, walk, tv, meditation
3) WRITE about the problem
4) call someone - and talk through, as long as they push back on you when needed and don’t always agree
I have a growth mindset
and ask how can i learn from this?
how can i get better?
what if everyone is a robot only sent here to test my resilience & reactions?!
Befrendinf my inner critic!
1) assume good intention - he’s trying to help me!
2) figure out it’s goal - where is he trying to get me?
3)
e.g. “you’re lazy”
1) thanks for caring at me!
2) you must wish for me to be productive! your goal is to motivate me to act and I want to be motivated too
3) what can i do? I need to have balance, health, exercise etc. realistic etc. how can we figure out what to do and collaborate together?!
How to stop feeling failure!
Recognize: If you feel failure
1) not aggressiveley pursuing goals! Lack of goals and indecision about things is a sign of fearing failure
2) obsesssed with being perfect. Way to avoid something
3) procrasinate or create other means of sabotaging yourself. Convenient excuses on lack of progress
How to overcome it:
1) broaden how i define failure. Maybe a partial success is great and not a failure! E.g. 10 ppl show up at party and not 30. Expand how you measure success! DESIRE MORE OUTCOMES
2) realize failure isn’t always about you. There are circumstances outside of control that efffect pursuits
3) don’t focus on other people’s endpoints! Don’t compare.
4) imagine the worst that could happen and prepare for it.
5) appreciate the value of failing. Bad teaches you a lot. Evaluate situation and correct course!
Then move forward and pivot
Improve Charisma and BL
GOAL - Let people leave my presence feeilng good about myself!
Charisma
1) smile when you talk - emotions are contagious
2) be curious and interested in others. small talk with private people - neutral topics, events, space, etc.
3) Encourage and support others. People crave support and admiration! People love those who are open and nonjudgemental
Body Language: convey important, open, interested, interesting
1) Fill the space around you. Keep shoulders relaxed. Sit tall and relaxed
2) Lean toward the person you are speaking with and keep consistent eye contact
3) Don’t fidget. Be STILL
4) SLOW DOWN. Walk slow back up striaght and glide
5) Mirror - Can mimic someone’s movements gently. Posture manerrisms. ALLOW A DELAY. FEW SECONDS. JUST SOME.
Chronic Fight, Flight Freeze…
When in this state constantly:
1) label and notice
2) grounding - Calm response. Practice these… EVERY DAY
Bottoms up body > brain
- Label senses - Breath, Touch, Etc.
- Breath:
0-10 anxiety scale before and after
Ask what am I noticing before and after?
Ps grounding exercise
Parasympathetic Nervous System: Calming part of NS. Want PS dominant NS
1) pay attention to present moment deep breath and let out slowly
2) senses touch.3 items around me and touch them
3) see 3 things and desc. in mind
4) hearing 3 sounds and desc. in my mind
