Book: How To Talk To Anyone Flashcards
Face muscles can make _____ number of expressions.
7,000 (p. xii)
Lowndes, L. (2003). How to Talk to Anyone : 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. Chicago, Ill: Contemporary Books.
Who wrote…? Leil Lowndes
University of Philidelphia communications authority estimates. (p. xiii)
10,000 units of info per second
80% of first impression is
The way you look
The way you move (p. 3)
Ideal image for somebody who is Somebody
Great posture
Heads-up look
Confident smile
Direct gaze (p. 4)
The Flooding Smile (p. 8)
Look at face
Pause
Soak in persona
Slowly let warm smile flood face & overflow into eyes
Split second delay makes smile feel like wave of warmth to recipient. Makes recipient feel as if the smile is only for them.
Sticky Eyes (p. 12)
Pretend eyes are glued to speakers with warm taffy
Keep looking even after person finishes speaking
When you do look away, do so slowly (stretch taffy until it breaks)
Women can use this technique with either sex. Men can only safely use this technique with women/must be less sticky with men.
Epoxy Eyes (p. 15)
Takes 3 people
Watch Target even when someone else is speaking.
Can be too intense. Light version is to shift gaze to target each time the speaker makes/finishes a point.
Intense eye contact presses an erotic button. Be careful with strangers in public.
Hang by your teeth (p. 20)
Visualize a hanging circus jaw bit every time you go through a doorway.
Pretend to bite the bit and let it lift you to the tent top.
Idea creates habit of perfect posture (head up, shoulders back) which gives air of confidence (the Somebody look).
The Big-Baby Pivot (p. 25)
Give everyone you meet this pivot. When new acquaintance in introduced, reward them instantly.
Warm smile
Full body turn
Undivided attention
(Just as though a baby had crawled up to your feet.)
Hello, Old Friend (p. 29)
Tricks body into showing openness and warmth. Reduces subtle incongruous signs. Works without language (cross cultural). Become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When meeting someone, pretend he or she is an old friend you have great affection for but have lost touch with, but this party/meeting has given you the chance to find the person again. This experience (never shared) creates a chain reaction of warmth and openness with your body language.
Limit the Fidget (p. 34)
When the conversation counts, let your nose itch, your ear tingle, or your foot prickle.
Do NOT fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch.
Keep hands away from face.
Hand motions near face give listener the gut feeling that you are lying.
Hans Horse Sense (p. 38)
Make a habit of being on a duel track when speaking.
Express yourself and keep watch on reactions at the same time.
Plan moves accordingly.
Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene (p. 41)
Rehearse being the Super Somebody you want to be
See yourself walking around with impressive posture
Hear yourself chatting comfortably with everyone
Feel the pleasure of knowing that you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you
Visualize yourself as a Super Somebody
Make a Mood Match (p. 51)
Before you open your mouth,
Take a “voice sample” to detect mood.
Take a “psychic photo”of expression.
Match voice and mood (if only for a moment).
