Before Happiness Flashcards
Recognize alternative realities
Change the facts you choose to focus on - ex. Stress is enhancing, don’t run from it
Add Vantage Points
Talk to people you normally wouldn’t, do something you normally wouldn’t, look at things in a new way, do something pro social, seek diverse voices.
Pursue the most valuable reality
Positivity ratio, embrace multiple cultures, remind yourself of the power of change
Diversify your meaning portfolio
List of specific meaning markers in all areas of your life
Do a daily “meaning orientation”
What is one action I will take today that will get me closer to my meaningful goals? Train yo ur brain to readjust and reorient your map around meaning
Map your life
Draw a map of your life - what’s big, what’s small? What’s absent? How can you better utilize these people and resources?
Spot and stop hijackers
Identify 3 hijackers that pull you off your path. What can you do today to avoid those hijackers? What positive, meaningful habits can you replace them with?
Use a treasure map
Make a mental treasure map instead of an escape route map. Commit ti focusing on what it takes to nail it rather than what to do to fail it. Steer conversations to figuring out how to make success happen.
Update your map
Monthly one hour break to reflect on mental map. What are my current ambitions and am I on track to reach them?
Identify your x-spots
X-spots help your brain believe success is close, possible, and worthwhile. Design daily mini goals you can achieve daily. Set markers so you recognize when you’re 70% complete mini goals to take advantage of mental accelerants. Focus on progress to date rather than what’s left to do. Include easy and already done tasks on your todo list.
Give yourself a head start
Design goals with some progress already worked in
Be objective
If overwhelmed, measure it in objective units (time, distance, # of people) rather than the effort involved. Prevent emotional hijacking by perceived effort required.
Use champion moments
Create list or 3 instances when you’ve succeeded in similar situations in the past.
Keep your eyes in the beach, not the rocks
Practice and visualize accomplishing small steps you need to take to get to your goal. Visualize what success could realistically look like rather than visualizing failure.
Make 70% your goal
Design goals and mini goals you believe you have at least a 70% chance of achieving. Avoid setting goals where you start out doubting your ability to achieve them.
Make your goals visible
Create realistic and meaningful visual (words and pictures) representing goals you want to accomplish in the near future. Make sure you see it regularly.
Noise-check your life
Check if information coming in meets the criteria for noise: unusable, untimely, hypothetical, distracting. If so, eliminate it.
Do the 5% experiment for 2 weeks
Pick one source of noise and try to decrease the info total for that source by 5%.
Create active noise cancelling
Post a sign next to your desk: I will keep my worry in proportion to the likelihood of the event. I will not ruin 10000 days to be right in a handful. I will not equate worrying with being loving or responsible.
Fact-check
Keep worry proportional to likelihood by asking: How often had this negative event happened to me in the past? How often does this negative event occur to people like me normally? Honest answers generally find answers lower than you feared.
Do a 5 minute writing exercise
When hearing doubting voices, take 5 minutes to write about things you feel passionate and positive about. Actively cancel the noise of the doubts.
Exercise
Decrease anxiety by 20% by adding exercise to your routine.
Use numbers to your advantage
Spread your positive reality to other positive people before going after the negative nellies.
Create a franchise
Fine simple, emotional, positive patterns or habits you can share with those around you at home or at work.
Use the power lead
Speak first and set the social script in a positive direction - ex. With a compliment, encouraging comment, or something good going on in your life
Add 3 smiles (or 10/5)
Implement 10/5 way - smile at anyone who comes within 10 feet, say hello to anyone who comes within 5 feet.
Use humour
Save funny lines, articles, videos, or stories and find ways to integrate them into the social script.
Create a narrative
Develop a shared positive narrative about overcoming a challenging obstacle and share it. Turn a triumph over adversity into something that binds you together:
