Before Happiness

Question 1

Recognize alternative realities

Answer 1

Change the facts you choose to focus on - ex. Stress is enhancing, don’t run from it

Question 2

Add Vantage Points

Answer 2

Talk to people you normally wouldn’t, do something you normally wouldn’t, look at things in a new way, do something pro social, seek diverse voices.

Question 3

Pursue the most valuable reality

Answer 3

Positivity ratio, embrace multiple cultures, remind yourself of the power of change

Question 4

Diversify your meaning portfolio

Answer 4

List of specific meaning markers in all areas of your life

Question 5

Do a daily “meaning orientation”

Answer 5

What is one action I will take today that will get me closer to my meaningful goals? Train yo ur brain to readjust and reorient your map around meaning

Question 6

Map your life

Answer 6

Draw a map of your life - what’s big, what’s small? What’s absent? How can you better utilize these people and resources?

Question 7

Spot and stop hijackers

Answer 7

Identify 3 hijackers that pull you off your path. What can you do today to avoid those hijackers? What positive, meaningful habits can you replace them with?

Question 8

Use a treasure map

Answer 8

Make a mental treasure map instead of an escape route map. Commit ti focusing on what it takes to nail it rather than what to do to fail it. Steer conversations to figuring out how to make success happen.

Question 9

Update your map

Answer 9

Monthly one hour break to reflect on mental map. What are my current ambitions and am I on track to reach them?

Question 10

Identify your x-spots

Answer 10

X-spots help your brain believe success is close, possible, and worthwhile. Design daily mini goals you can achieve daily. Set markers so you recognize when you’re 70% complete mini goals to take advantage of mental accelerants. Focus on progress to date rather than what’s left to do. Include easy and already done tasks on your todo list.

Question 11

Give yourself a head start

Answer 11

Design goals with some progress already worked in

Question 12

Be objective

Answer 12

If overwhelmed, measure it in objective units (time, distance, # of people) rather than the effort involved. Prevent emotional hijacking by perceived effort required.

Question 13

Use champion moments

Answer 13

Create list or 3 instances when you’ve succeeded in similar situations in the past.

Question 14

Keep your eyes in the beach, not the rocks

Answer 14

Practice and visualize accomplishing small steps you need to take to get to your goal. Visualize what success could realistically look like rather than visualizing failure.

Question 15

Make 70% your goal

Answer 15

Design goals and mini goals you believe you have at least a 70% chance of achieving. Avoid setting goals where you start out doubting your ability to achieve them.

Question 16

Make your goals visible

Answer 16

Create realistic and meaningful visual (words and pictures) representing goals you want to accomplish in the near future. Make sure you see it regularly.

Question 17

Noise-check your life

Answer 17

Check if information coming in meets the criteria for noise: unusable, untimely, hypothetical, distracting. If so, eliminate it.

Question 18

Do the 5% experiment for 2 weeks

Answer 18

Pick one source of noise and try to decrease the info total for that source by 5%.

Question 19

Create active noise cancelling

Answer 19

Post a sign next to your desk: I will keep my worry in proportion to the likelihood of the event. I will not ruin 10000 days to be right in a handful. I will not equate worrying with being loving or responsible.

Question 20

Fact-check

Answer 20

Keep worry proportional to likelihood by asking: How often had this negative event happened to me in the past? How often does this negative event occur to people like me normally? Honest answers generally find answers lower than you feared.

Question 21

Do a 5 minute writing exercise

Answer 21

When hearing doubting voices, take 5 minutes to write about things you feel passionate and positive about. Actively cancel the noise of the doubts.

Question 22

Exercise

Answer 22

Decrease anxiety by 20% by adding exercise to your routine.

Question 23

Use numbers to your advantage

Answer 23

Spread your positive reality to other positive people before going after the negative nellies.

Question 24

Create a franchise

Answer 24

Fine simple, emotional, positive patterns or habits you can share with those around you at home or at work.

Question 25

Use the power lead

Answer 25

Speak first and set the social script in a positive direction - ex. With a compliment, encouraging comment, or something good going on in your life

Question 26

Add 3 smiles (or 10/5)

Answer 26

Implement 10/5 way - smile at anyone who comes within 10 feet, say hello to anyone who comes within 5 feet.

Question 27

Use humour

Answer 27

Save funny lines, articles, videos, or stories and find ways to integrate them into the social script.

Question 28

Create a narrative

Answer 28

Develop a shared positive narrative about overcoming a challenging obstacle and share it. Turn a triumph over adversity into something that binds you together: