Be More Chill Flashcards
Chloe: oh my god, he was like, getting off on that Jeremy bumps into Rich
Yo, don’t touch me Tall-ass!
Jeremy: Sorry, I was just… trying to get to my…
Writes something on backpack w marker You wash that off, you’re dead. Jakey D! what’s the story with Madeline?
Jeremy: ILL DO THE SAME / I GRAB THE PEN, I WRITE MY NAME
Gay! haha!
…THAT CHRISTIKKE IS AWARE I’M ALIVE scene change to bathroom
I told you not to wash that off.
Jeremy: where’s my homework?
I’m talking to you, tall-ass!
Jeremy: why do you keep calling me that? I’m not even that tall!
go to urinal you could be, if you weren’t hunched over and scared all the time. the only thing more pathetic is the way you’re sneaking of to a stall to get away from me. Stall’s for girls. You a girl, Jeremy?
Jeremy: How can you talk to people while youre… Y’know..
Confidence
Jeremy: You might wanna.. watch the floor…
twitches
Jeremy: Uh… I just remembered I don’t have to pee after all–
Don’t move.
Jeremy: what? that’s not even possible.
Shut up, tall-ass!… Sorry, old habbits. Look, I apologize for treating you like human garbage all the time I only did it ‘cuz my squip said I had to, But now it’s saying you’re not a bad guy. that you might want a squip of your own. ‘Course, if you’re not interested…
YEAH, WHEN YOU BUY A SQUIP
I got a hook-up, this guy works as payless shoes at the menlo park mall. it’s six hundred
Jeremy: Dollars?
It’s worth it. bring the money on monday. you’ll see. starts to exit
Jeremy: aren’t you gonna wash your hands?
RICH: aw, man, Jeremy. you know what you need?
NOW THAT SOMEONE’S HELPING ME OUT J arrives @ school
Yo, tall-ass. Where’s my money?
Squip: Up down left right A
Jolts You got one!
J: sorry I meant to go through you but– don’t hit me!
Jeremy! This is awesome! I mean, I coulda used the money. Things are kinda rough at home if you know what I’m sayin’
J: Yeah…my dad…drinks too?
Yo, fucking dads, right?! He usually passes out by nine, you should come over, play x-box. You know, with a squip, the only controller you need…is your mind? exit
CHLOE: I GOT A FLASK
I STOLE MY BROTHER’S JASON MASK AND I DON’T HAVE A MACHETE BUT A LOAF OF BREAD WILL DOOOO
J, Brooke: EVERYBODY’S LIKE “SUP”
YO MAN, SUP?!
JAKE, BROOK, CHLOE: LOOK HOW MANY DRINK’S I’VE DOWNED
EVERY SINGLE SONG’S ALL LIKE WHUP!, THEY’RE ALL WHUP! WE’RE LIKE YUP!, TURN IT UP!
AS WE STUMBLE TO THE SOUND
CUZ I’M HALOWEEN PARTYING HARD TONIGHT
IT’S HALLOWEEN, IT’S HALOWEEN…. DANCE CRAZY
AWESOME PARTY I’M SO GLAD I CAME back to party
jumping from person to person You got any mountain dew red?
Christine: Don’t be. I dumped him.
It looks like normal mountain dew? but red?
Christine: And, he’s kind of a jerk, so…
Seriously! Where the fuck can I get some mountain dew red?
Christine: …until I know who I am. I know thats not what you wanted to.. Im sorry.
BAAAAAAA…. got any mountain dew red?
J: Okay, this whole no-drinking-while-squipping thing? Would it have killed you to give me a warning? …Rich?
Warning. Warning. Warning. exits
J: Hello? ow ow ow ow ow
Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?
J:… Rich?
Hurts like a motherfucker too. Be honest: what are they saying about me at school (beat) that bad?
J: Sorry…
Sorry? I’m finally out of that shiny happy hive mind! When I get out of here, the ladies are gonna learn to love the real richard Goranski. And the dudes. Oh my god, I’m totally BI!
J: Your squip’s gone? but how?
Ask you budy. Anti-social headphones kid? He’s been by like, a ton, by the way. What is he, your boyfriend? No judgement. Just curious. Totally Bi now.
Michael: I’m sure someone will be lucky to have you, Rich
You think?
SAY THAT YOU APPRECIATE THAT SHE’S SMART
NO, MAN, YOU TELL HER THAT SHE EXCITES YOU SEXUALLY / AND THAT’S THE WAY YOU GET TO HER HEART / TRUST ME, I KNOW / HOW IT’S GONNA GO LISTEN AND, OH-
J: Aw, Gah! (r)
Oh, thank god, the popular students have arrived. Helooooo everyone! My name is Mr. Reyes. You may recognize me from drama class, or my full time job, at hobby lobby. (moved) Thank you. I’ve been dreaming of the day I get to stage William shakespear’s classic “a midsummer night’s dream”–
Christine: YES (r)
And today, that dream dies.
Christine: What?
And is reborn! Just… slightly mutated. The school has informed me that, unless I increase our popularity, our funds will be diverted. To the frisbee golf team. Which is why OUR production will be set, not in a pastoral forest, but a post apocalyptic future. Instead of frolicking with faries, there will be felling. From zombies.
Christine: Don’t you care about Shakespeare? (R)
The man is dead. Let it go. We will dow take a five-minute break so I can eat a hot pocket.
Jake: Woo hoo! (R)
(to Brooke) So what’s the story with Jake and Madeline?
J: performance art. Ch: oh. Cool. (R)
Lets begin, people! curtains rise on athens… georgia. the center for disease control.
CH: no– J: REALLY?????
Mr. Heere! your script is closed. which I can only assume means you’ve memorizes your entire part please: regale us. Or perhaps you’re simply wasting out–
J: .. No more yielding but a dream… or is it? (R)
Well! it seems the rest of you can learn from Mr. Heere’s commitmwent to the craft. (beat) Hot pocket break!
CH: I GUESS A PART OF ME LIKES TO HANG WITH YOU I GUESS A PART OF ME– (R)
enters Hot pocket break over, people.
CH: “Go our and ashow everyone the relevant power of live theater! (R)
Off stage cough costumes.
CH: What’s wrong with me? (R)
enters Miss canigula! props has whipped up a fresh beaker of Puck’s pansy serum. (Beat) Oh…Mr. Heere. I suppose you’ll be wanting your costume back.
Squip: I anticipated your resistance too, Jeremy, so I took the decision out of your hands. (R)
Places for scene two, people! Remember, onece puck gives you the fansy serum you have to really sell that you’re transforming into a zombie! (To chloe) Excelent work, Miss valentine
Mr. Reyes… what’s in the pansy serum? (R)
Oh, dont worry about the color. Its perfectly non-toxic. We dont want a repeat of last year’s aresnic and old lace debacle. Its just plain mountain dew! Also Jenna rollan put those wintergreen tictacs at the bottom.
J: NO! you can’t let anyone drink from that beaker! (R)
Don’t be silly, it’s more than safe. I should know… I tried it myself.
J: I have to get out there– (R)
I cant let you do that, Jeremy
J: Mr. Reyes?
You needy, pathetic, self centered students. You think I wanted to teach highschool drama? in new jersey? My squip says I can go all the way to broadway. I just have to make sure you dont ruin my big night. Exits
