Act One Scene One Flashcards

0
Q

We got a tip that the bear squirrels in any territory of the good ol’ U.S. Of A are found on this here island, didn’t we, Carla Jo?

A

That’s right Rhonda Mae. There’s nothin’ like huntin’ squirrels.

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1
Q

We’ll just see what Mrs.Wilcox has to say about this.

A

Go ahead and state your complaints.

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2
Q

But this is a tropical island! You’ll never find any-

A

I know you must be worried about all of them breedin’ and multiplyin’. But do my get too upset, ma’am! We’ll take care of this problem in no time.

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3
Q

I might just go a little crazy and…and…

A

And what?

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4
Q

Ms. Matthews, why don’t you sit down and have a nice cup of yea while you knit. It’s iced.

A

Maybe it’ll help cool your hot Yankee temper.

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5
Q

All right, we wouldn’t want to do anything to get Ms. Matthews upset now, would we?

A

There’s nothin’ like a Yankee blowin’ her top.

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6
Q

With all those interests, I’m sure the three of you can find something to talk about over a glass of iced tea.

A

I doubt it Mrs. Wilcox.

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7
Q

What’s that broads problem?

A

I wonder.

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8
Q

I don’t have to stand here and listen to the two of you berate me. I’m going to my room to knit in peace and quiet.

A

That’s one Yankee gal with no class.

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9
Q

Oh, dear!

A

Mrs. Wilcox?

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10
Q

Now, how are the two of you enjoying the iced tea?

A

It’s delicious. Now about our rifle-

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11
Q

It looks like that tropical storm is about to hit.

A

Just call us when it’s time for supper, then.

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12
Q

I think there may be something wrong with Mrs. Wilcox.

A

That knife stickin’ out of her back might be the problem.

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13
Q

Whoever did this, whoever is responsible for this gruesome world we live in will pay!

A

Is he serious?

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14
Q

Me and Carla Jo can carry her.

A

That’s one good thing about about us Michaels sisters- we’re each as strong as an OC.

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15
Q

There you go again. You practically have me rolling.

A

Connie, do you know which is the key to the cabinet?

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16
Q

What on earth do you want a gun for?

A

We’re goin’ huntin’.

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17
Q

Of course! The rain makes all squirrels hide in the trees.

A

The trees are practically stuffed full of them during storms like this.

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18
Q

Squirrels? On the island, you say? And you’re going to go outside in this weather?

A

Heavens, no. You Yankees don’t know the first thing about huntin’. Did you hear that sister?

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19
Q

I’m confused, then.

A

Were going to open the window, fire our rifle into the trees, and watch the squirrels fall to the ground.

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20
Q

We’ll aim the rifle outside, not inside. Don’t worry.

A

Hey, the cabinet’s empty.

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21
Q

Where’s our rifle?!

A

I don’t know! It’s gone.

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22
Q

You’re sure Mrs. Wilcox put it in there?

A

I saw her with my own two eyes.

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23
Q

Somebody must have taken it out.

A

This is a violation of the second Amendment of the constitution on the United States of America! Someone is tamperin’ with my right to bear arms! We’ve got a thief here.

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24
Q

Then we’d have a murderin’ thief.

A

Or a thieverin’ murderer

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25
Q

There sure is, Bub

A

What do you call that getup, anyway?

26
Q

Get up?

A

Them there costumes you’re wearin’

27
Q

This is my night crusader uniform. Right now, I’m the Night Crusader.

A

What do you mean, right now? Are you other people at other times?

28
Q

Is one of them people a murderer?

A

Or a thief?

29
Q

I’m a devout follower of Graphic Novels.

A

I hear words comin’ out of those lips, but I don’t understand what they’re sayin’

30
Q

Maybe you can help us find the person who stole our rifle.

A

That’s an injustice that needs fightin’

31
Q

Carla Jo and Rhonda Mae have a gun, I saw it.

A

We do not. I mean we did, but it’s missin’ someone stole it from the cabinet

32
Q

I am not a suspect.

A

Neither am I. In fact, I’m a victim. A victim of a second amendment violation!

33
Q

Then where have you been for the past half hour?

A

That’s easy, he was in my room hittin’ on me for awhile.

34
Q

Are you serious? You would stoop so low as to put your lips on the hired help and this hick?

A

Excuse me. How dare you! His lips have been nowhere near mine. I wouldn’t give him the time of day.

35
Q

Carla Jo, look. It’s our rifle.

A

The murderer must have stolen it from the cabinet and brought it in that there passage.

36
Q

That sounds like an easy accomplishment for an actor.

A

Or an actress.

37
Q

Night Crusader? I’m not the night crusader any more.

A

He looks like he’s some sorta Buffalo Guy now.

38
Q

100% destroyer of all that dares to threaten the Himalayans!

A

I’ve never heard of him.

39
Q

Let go of me.

A

Hold the scoundrel down!

40
Q

What’s going on?

A

Look at what we found in this Yankee Yak’s suitcase.

41
Q

I told you. Why would I bring real weapons on a relaxing stay at a bed and breakfast? I’m no murderer.

A

Well, how were we supposed to know that those were fake?ntheynlook pretty real to me.

42
Q

And why did you do that?

A

Well, you don’t expect us to just sit back and let a murderer run around this place, do you?

43
Q

We decided to take matters into our own hands and try to find him ourselves.

A

Who knows what kind of evidence we could find if we searched all of the rooms.

44
Q

What? You think I can’t break a lock?

A

Yak Man’s room was the first one we busted into, and sure enough, we found weapons.

45
Q

Prop weapons.

A

Fine, you little buffalo wing. You win this time.

46
Q

Those crazy things look like they could blast any squirrel we came across into bits.

A

Maybe we’ll find some real evidence in the next room we search

47
Q

They take me a long time to sew.

A

Say, what’s this plastic wrap for?

48
Q

That’s incase one of my uniformed needs an invisible cloak.

A

Uhh….Here you go.

49
Q

Take a seat, Neil.

A

I haven’t been in any more rooms. I swear it.

50
Q

Well, some of us were dragged out here against our will.

A

Well,some of us thought we had a reason to drag others out here against their will.

51
Q

You think I was in love with him?

A

You sure seemed angry to me.

52
Q

Maybe it does, but it’s the truth.

A

If the two of you are havin’ an affair, you would both be free of plenty of burdens with your spouses out of the way

53
Q

Sounds like an easy way to come across some murder weapons to me.

A

We weren’t snoopin’ to steal, we were snoopin’ to protect

54
Q

That’s easy. One of you murdered Mrs. Wilcox as revenge for locking up your gun.

A

Do you really think we would stoop so low as to murder someone over that?

55
Q

How come the two of you get to run the show while the rest of us sit around accusing one another?

A

Good point.

56
Q

Oh, that’s ridiculous! How on earth could I hurt you?……Oh

A

A hatchet! Get him!

57
Q

Not every comic book is about superheros!

A

I’m speechless.

58
Q

Sorry, Aunt Gretchen.

A

It’s awfully late, Mr. Franklin. I need my beauty sleep.

59
Q

Now, we have just one tiny problem. You’re going to have to die. All of you!

A

What did we do?

60
Q

Stand back Everyone!

A

Volunteerin’ to be the first one murdered. I always knew he was one crazy Yankee.

61
Q

We’ll stick one of the Michaels sisters at each entrance to make sure she doesn’t escape.

A

Good plan. Let’s get to it, sister.

62
Q

We can’t thank you enough, Mr. Franklin, for savin’ our lives.

A

You’re a Yankee, but your a good Yankee. Just for this, all of the exotic squirrel furs we collect on this here island will be yours.