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Ethel P. Savage Lines > Act I, Scene II > Flashcards

Act I, Scene II Flashcards

1
Q

Jeff: I trust you had a pleasant sleepless night?

A

Lovely, thank you. Not a wink.

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2
Q

Florence: You’ve just missed Hannibal’s recital.

A

I heard it. As a matter of fact, it’s what brought me out of my room.

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3
Q

Florence: You wouldn’t believe it, Mrs. Savage, but Hannibal never touched a violin until last year.

A

What makes you think I wouldn’t believe it, my dear? Was it something you composed yourself, Hannibal?

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4
Q

Fairy: Mathematics’ loss was certainly our gain.

A

Now, I don’t quite follow that, Fairy.

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5
Q

Hannibal: Fairy knows I used to be a statistician.

A

Thank you– now I’m straight.

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6
Q

Fairy: Give him a fraction to multiply.

A

I’m afraid I wouldn’t know whether he was right or not.

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7
Q

Hannibal: …I was supposed to keep my finger on the pulse of the public and my ear to the ground.

A

A rather vulnerable position, was it not?

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8
Q

Hannibal: Very. I was fired and replaced by a computer.

A

I should think you’d hate electricity, too.

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9
Q

Fairy: Oh! That reminds me. May we ask you a personal question, Mrs. Savage?

A

They’re the only ones worth asking, my dear.

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10
Q

Florence: A little bird told us that you used to be an actress. We’re bursting with curiosity. Is it true?

A

Oh– that. Well, if being on the stage makes you an actress– then I guess it’s true.

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11
Q

Hannibal: I wonder if we’ve ever seen you, Mrs. Savage?

A

Not unless you were quick. Actually, I was only in two plays. The first was Macbeth.

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12
Q

Jeff: I should think you would have been a novel departure as Lady Macbeth.

A

I can’t tell you how much I agree with you– but they cast me as a witch.

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13
Q

Fairy: But you’re a perfect witch!

A

Thank you, dear.

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14
Q

Fairy: Please speak some witch talk for us.

A

I didn’t have any lines. If I had it probably would have cost me twice as much.

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15
Q

Jeff: Why did it cost you anything?

A

I backed the show. If I hadn’t put up the money– I couldn’t have played even the mute witch. But we made history. It’s the first play that ever closed before the reviews were out.

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16
Q

Fairy: Was it expensive?

A

Extremely– but worth it.

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17
Q

Florence: What a pity. Weren’t you discouraged?

A

Bitterly. But man is by nature optimistic. If he weren’t he’d eat his young. So I decided I’d write a play and star myself.

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18
Q

Fairy: You wrote a play!

A

I did indeed. With a courage born of ignorance and a plot out of wedlock.

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19
Q

Florence: What part did you play then?

A

Naturally– the lead. ‘Not Guilty’– starring Ethel P. Savage.

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20
Q

Jeff: What does the “P” stand for?

A

I haven’t the faintest idea. My numerologist said I needed it in my name for luck. He was right. We ran a year.

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21
Q

Fairy: What was the play about?

A

A mother who’d murdered a man and was defended by a young woman lawyer who turns out to be her own daughter. I had red hair and died in my daughter’s arms every night and two matinees a week just as the curtain came down and the jury whispered– “Not Guilty.” Oh, I’ve never had a better time in my life.

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22
Q

Hannibal: I gather the notices were good that time?

A

Well, they were sincere. But it didn’t make any difference.

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23
Q

Florence: What did they say?

A

The Times said my play set the theatre back fifty years. It couldn’t possibly– because I stole the plot from Madame X, and that’s only forty years old.

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24
Q

Fairy: Wouldn’t you think they’d know?

A

But the Wall Street Journal was wonderful. It said I brought something new to the theatre.

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25
Q

Jeff: What did Wall Street say?

A

It said I had a “tenacious mediocrity unhampered by taste.”

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26
Q

Jeff: But that wasn’t good.

A

It was perfect. In our ads we simply said “Tenacious” and “Unhampered.”

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27
Q

Jeff: And you ran a year?

A

We’d have been running yet if my daughter hadn’t come home and stopped me. Oh, I know I was bad and audiences only came to laugh at me. But we both had a good time. What more can you ask? I do miss it. Oh, well. My turn is coming.

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28
Q

Florence: Oh–oh!

A

What’s– the matter?

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29
Q

Fairy: It will only make you unhappy.

A

Now just a moment. I know what the paper is going to say so there is nothing you can hide from me. I’ve just been waiting for it to happen.

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30
Q

Jeff: Waiting for what to happen, Mrs. Savage?

A

Why– why, what it says in the paper.

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31
Q

Jeff: But we don’t know what it says in the paper.

A

Then why were you trying to keep me from seeing it?

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32
Q

Florence: We find we’re much happier when we wait.

A

What are you waiting for?

33
Q

Hannibal: It’s reassuring when we know it’s over and nothing can be done.

A

My dear people– there is something important in the paper that I want to know about. And I’d like to know now– not next month.

34
Q

Jeff: Disaster is easier to digest when it’s aged a little.

A

You’re very kind but I’ve made my bed and I want to know who’s in it.

35
Q

Florence: If there’s trouble in the world– it won’t help us to know about it.

A

This is yesterday’s paper. I want today’s paper.

36
Q

Hannibal: Oh, it isn’t here yet.

A

When does it come?

37
Q

Hannibal: I don’t know.

A

Is there a radio here?

38
Q

Jeff: Yes– right over there.

A

Maybe I can catch the news. Why didn’t someone mention there was a radio here?

39
Q

Jeff: You didn’t ask us.

A

This doesn’t work. Is anything wrong with it?

40
Q

Fairy: I don’t think so. Of course, it hasn’t any batteries.

A

It hasn’t any– what?

41
Q

Jeff: No one knows where she hides them.

A

Why didn’t you say it had no batteries?

42
Q

Jeff: You didn’t ask us.

A

Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear! How high is that wall?

43
Q

Fairy: It’s easily ten chairs high.

A

And I suppose no one ever leaves that great gate open?

44
Q

Florence: We like you already.

A

It isn’t that I don’t find you– enchanting, but– but you–

45
Q

Florence: We have to go, Mrs. Savage.

A

But– where?

46
Q

Florence: Come with us, Mrs. Savage. I’ll show you my delphiniums.

A

No– please go without me. I have some serious thinking to do. I’ll just stay here.

47
Q

Hannibal: May I ask why you’re doing that, Mrs. Savage?

A

Oh, I believe in wearing a carpet out evenly.

48
Q

Fairy: Oh, how prudent. I’m going to help you.

A

But don’t you have to garden?

49
Q

Florence: I’ll help, too. We must all do our share.

A

But I didn’t mean to start a procession.

50
Q

Fairy: Go ahead, Mrs. Savage. We’re behind you.

A

But… I feel like the Pied Piper.

51
Q

Fairy: Oh, I wish I were dead.

A

I’m afraid this is my fault, Miss Willie.

52
Q

Ms. Willie: …Aren’t you going with them, Mrs. Savage?

A

I wanted to speak to you– alone.

53
Q

Ms. Willie: All right. What can I do for you?

A

A great deal. And it might be that I can do a great deal for you.

54
Q

Ms. Willie: Are you about to offer me a bribe, Mrs. Savage?

A

How did you guess?

55
Q

Ms. Willie: Everyone does– at first.

A

Still, my offer is a little different. I have the money. I’ll give you twenty thousand to leave that door open tonight. Thirty thousand.

56
Q

Ms. Willie: Don’t you like us, Mrs. Savage?

A

That’s a most irritating answer to a sound business offer, my dear. Forty thousand. You could be free of this place, too.

57
Q

Ms. Willie: But I don’t want to be free of it.

A

Fifty thousand. You could go around the world– see Cairo– Mandalay– the South Pacific.

58
Q

Ms. Willie: But I’ve seen Cairo– I’ve been to Mandalay and the South Pacific.

A

You have?

59
Q

Ms. Willie: I had four years as an army nurse.

A

Still– you should be able to use fifty thousand dollars.

60
Q

Ms. Willie: Now where would you get fifty thousand dollars, Mrs. Savage? That’s a fortune.

A

Never mind– I can get it. And in the current idiom– fifty thousand is peanuts.

61
Q

Ms. Willie: Oh, I believe you– but I’m afraid I have to refuse.

A

Then you leave me no choice but to burn the place down.

62
Q

Ms. Willie: Oh, you wouldn’t do that.

A

Oh, yes, I would.

63
Q

Ms. Willie: Too many people here wouldn’t know how to save themselves. You’d think of them first.

A

If you believe I belong here– why are you appealing to my reason?

64
Q

Ms. Willie: I wasn’t. I was appealing to your emotions.

A

Well, I’m going to get out quickly enough. It’s just that bribing you would have been cheaper. Now it’ll cost me a couple of million at least.

65
Q

Dr. Emmett: … the sensationalism of her daughter’s six divorces doesn’t speak too well for her emotional stability, either.

A

Did you want me, Doctor?

66
Q

Dr. Emmett: Please sit down, Mrs. Savage.

A

I think I know what you’re going to tell me.

67
Q

Dr. Emmett: Do you?

A

I see you have the morning papers. I wondered how long it would take them to find out.

68
Q

Dr. Emmett: Then you’re aware of what you’ve done. And the consequences?

A

Oh, it’s too early for consequences. May I see it?

69
Q

Dr. Emmett: The senator phoned from Washington. We can expect them by tonight.

A

Indeed we can. Well, I’m not going any place.

70
Q

Dr. Emmett: How could you possibly have spent eighty million dollars without someone knowing about it!

A

Who said I spent it?

71
Q

Dr. Emmett: That paper says you did.

A

Oh, what do they know? I didn’t spend it– I couldn’t. I hid it.

72
Q

Dr. Emmett: You hid it?

A

In nice half-million-dollar negotiable bonds that can’t be traced.

73
Q

Dr. Emmett: Why?

A

I don’t ask you what you do with your money, Doctor.

74
Q

Dr. Emmett: I’m sorry this has happened, Mrs. Savage. I’m afraid your hidden treasure is going to prove a great disadvantage to you.

A

That’s because you’re a doctor– and doctors never know the value of money.

75
Q

Hannibal: Now what’s the Doctor up to?

A

A bit of emotional blackmail, I suspect. Hannibal– would you guess to look at me that I’m worth eighty million dollars on the hoof?

76
Q

Hannibal: … nobody is worth over a dollar and a half.

A

So you only value me at a dollar and a half?

77
Q

Hannibal: Never. You said “worth.” Your value is inestimable.

A

Hannibal– I like you. I like you very much. You make me feel important. You make me feel like dancing.

78
Q

Hannibal: Splendid. What shall I play?

A

Anything.

79
Q

Hannibal: I am very good on “The Flight of the Bumble Bee.”

A

Could anything be more appropriate– the bees come home and find the honey gone! Someone is going to be stung. Play– Hannibal!

Ethel P. Savage Lines (3 decks)

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