Act I, Scene II Flashcards
Jeff: I trust you had a pleasant sleepless night?
Lovely, thank you. Not a wink.
Florence: You’ve just missed Hannibal’s recital.
I heard it. As a matter of fact, it’s what brought me out of my room.
Florence: You wouldn’t believe it, Mrs. Savage, but Hannibal never touched a violin until last year.
What makes you think I wouldn’t believe it, my dear? Was it something you composed yourself, Hannibal?
Fairy: Mathematics’ loss was certainly our gain.
Now, I don’t quite follow that, Fairy.
Hannibal: Fairy knows I used to be a statistician.
Thank you– now I’m straight.
Fairy: Give him a fraction to multiply.
I’m afraid I wouldn’t know whether he was right or not.
Hannibal: …I was supposed to keep my finger on the pulse of the public and my ear to the ground.
A rather vulnerable position, was it not?
Hannibal: Very. I was fired and replaced by a computer.
I should think you’d hate electricity, too.
Fairy: Oh! That reminds me. May we ask you a personal question, Mrs. Savage?
They’re the only ones worth asking, my dear.
Florence: A little bird told us that you used to be an actress. We’re bursting with curiosity. Is it true?
Oh– that. Well, if being on the stage makes you an actress– then I guess it’s true.
Hannibal: I wonder if we’ve ever seen you, Mrs. Savage?
Not unless you were quick. Actually, I was only in two plays. The first was Macbeth.
Jeff: I should think you would have been a novel departure as Lady Macbeth.
I can’t tell you how much I agree with you– but they cast me as a witch.
Fairy: But you’re a perfect witch!
Thank you, dear.
Fairy: Please speak some witch talk for us.
I didn’t have any lines. If I had it probably would have cost me twice as much.
Jeff: Why did it cost you anything?
I backed the show. If I hadn’t put up the money– I couldn’t have played even the mute witch. But we made history. It’s the first play that ever closed before the reviews were out.
Fairy: Was it expensive?
Extremely– but worth it.
Florence: What a pity. Weren’t you discouraged?
Bitterly. But man is by nature optimistic. If he weren’t he’d eat his young. So I decided I’d write a play and star myself.
Fairy: You wrote a play!
I did indeed. With a courage born of ignorance and a plot out of wedlock.
Florence: What part did you play then?
Naturally– the lead. ‘Not Guilty’– starring Ethel P. Savage.
Jeff: What does the “P” stand for?
I haven’t the faintest idea. My numerologist said I needed it in my name for luck. He was right. We ran a year.
Fairy: What was the play about?
A mother who’d murdered a man and was defended by a young woman lawyer who turns out to be her own daughter. I had red hair and died in my daughter’s arms every night and two matinees a week just as the curtain came down and the jury whispered– “Not Guilty.” Oh, I’ve never had a better time in my life.
Hannibal: I gather the notices were good that time?
Well, they were sincere. But it didn’t make any difference.
Florence: What did they say?
The Times said my play set the theatre back fifty years. It couldn’t possibly– because I stole the plot from Madame X, and that’s only forty years old.
Fairy: Wouldn’t you think they’d know?
But the Wall Street Journal was wonderful. It said I brought something new to the theatre.
Jeff: What did Wall Street say?
It said I had a “tenacious mediocrity unhampered by taste.”
Jeff: But that wasn’t good.
It was perfect. In our ads we simply said “Tenacious” and “Unhampered.”
Jeff: And you ran a year?
We’d have been running yet if my daughter hadn’t come home and stopped me. Oh, I know I was bad and audiences only came to laugh at me. But we both had a good time. What more can you ask? I do miss it. Oh, well. My turn is coming.
Florence: Oh–oh!
What’s– the matter?
Fairy: It will only make you unhappy.
Now just a moment. I know what the paper is going to say so there is nothing you can hide from me. I’ve just been waiting for it to happen.
Jeff: Waiting for what to happen, Mrs. Savage?
Why– why, what it says in the paper.
Jeff: But we don’t know what it says in the paper.
Then why were you trying to keep me from seeing it?
Florence: We find we’re much happier when we wait.
What are you waiting for?
Hannibal: It’s reassuring when we know it’s over and nothing can be done.
My dear people– there is something important in the paper that I want to know about. And I’d like to know now– not next month.
Jeff: Disaster is easier to digest when it’s aged a little.
You’re very kind but I’ve made my bed and I want to know who’s in it.
Florence: If there’s trouble in the world– it won’t help us to know about it.
This is yesterday’s paper. I want today’s paper.
Hannibal: Oh, it isn’t here yet.
When does it come?
Hannibal: I don’t know.
Is there a radio here?
Jeff: Yes– right over there.
Maybe I can catch the news. Why didn’t someone mention there was a radio here?
Jeff: You didn’t ask us.
This doesn’t work. Is anything wrong with it?
Fairy: I don’t think so. Of course, it hasn’t any batteries.
It hasn’t any– what?
Jeff: No one knows where she hides them.
Why didn’t you say it had no batteries?
Jeff: You didn’t ask us.
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear! How high is that wall?
Fairy: It’s easily ten chairs high.
And I suppose no one ever leaves that great gate open?
Florence: We like you already.
It isn’t that I don’t find you– enchanting, but– but you–
Florence: We have to go, Mrs. Savage.
But– where?
Florence: Come with us, Mrs. Savage. I’ll show you my delphiniums.
No– please go without me. I have some serious thinking to do. I’ll just stay here.
Hannibal: May I ask why you’re doing that, Mrs. Savage?
Oh, I believe in wearing a carpet out evenly.
Fairy: Oh, how prudent. I’m going to help you.
But don’t you have to garden?
Florence: I’ll help, too. We must all do our share.
But I didn’t mean to start a procession.
Fairy: Go ahead, Mrs. Savage. We’re behind you.
But… I feel like the Pied Piper.
Fairy: Oh, I wish I were dead.
I’m afraid this is my fault, Miss Willie.
Ms. Willie: …Aren’t you going with them, Mrs. Savage?
I wanted to speak to you– alone.
Ms. Willie: All right. What can I do for you?
A great deal. And it might be that I can do a great deal for you.
Ms. Willie: Are you about to offer me a bribe, Mrs. Savage?
How did you guess?
Ms. Willie: Everyone does– at first.
Still, my offer is a little different. I have the money. I’ll give you twenty thousand to leave that door open tonight. Thirty thousand.
Ms. Willie: Don’t you like us, Mrs. Savage?
That’s a most irritating answer to a sound business offer, my dear. Forty thousand. You could be free of this place, too.
Ms. Willie: But I don’t want to be free of it.
Fifty thousand. You could go around the world– see Cairo– Mandalay– the South Pacific.
Ms. Willie: But I’ve seen Cairo– I’ve been to Mandalay and the South Pacific.
You have?
Ms. Willie: I had four years as an army nurse.
Still– you should be able to use fifty thousand dollars.
Ms. Willie: Now where would you get fifty thousand dollars, Mrs. Savage? That’s a fortune.
Never mind– I can get it. And in the current idiom– fifty thousand is peanuts.
Ms. Willie: Oh, I believe you– but I’m afraid I have to refuse.
Then you leave me no choice but to burn the place down.
Ms. Willie: Oh, you wouldn’t do that.
Oh, yes, I would.
Ms. Willie: Too many people here wouldn’t know how to save themselves. You’d think of them first.
If you believe I belong here– why are you appealing to my reason?
Ms. Willie: I wasn’t. I was appealing to your emotions.
Well, I’m going to get out quickly enough. It’s just that bribing you would have been cheaper. Now it’ll cost me a couple of million at least.
Dr. Emmett: … the sensationalism of her daughter’s six divorces doesn’t speak too well for her emotional stability, either.
Did you want me, Doctor?
Dr. Emmett: Please sit down, Mrs. Savage.
I think I know what you’re going to tell me.
Dr. Emmett: Do you?
I see you have the morning papers. I wondered how long it would take them to find out.
Dr. Emmett: Then you’re aware of what you’ve done. And the consequences?
Oh, it’s too early for consequences. May I see it?
Dr. Emmett: The senator phoned from Washington. We can expect them by tonight.
Indeed we can. Well, I’m not going any place.
Dr. Emmett: How could you possibly have spent eighty million dollars without someone knowing about it!
Who said I spent it?
Dr. Emmett: That paper says you did.
Oh, what do they know? I didn’t spend it– I couldn’t. I hid it.
Dr. Emmett: You hid it?
In nice half-million-dollar negotiable bonds that can’t be traced.
Dr. Emmett: Why?
I don’t ask you what you do with your money, Doctor.
Dr. Emmett: I’m sorry this has happened, Mrs. Savage. I’m afraid your hidden treasure is going to prove a great disadvantage to you.
That’s because you’re a doctor– and doctors never know the value of money.
Hannibal: Now what’s the Doctor up to?
A bit of emotional blackmail, I suspect. Hannibal– would you guess to look at me that I’m worth eighty million dollars on the hoof?
Hannibal: … nobody is worth over a dollar and a half.
So you only value me at a dollar and a half?
Hannibal: Never. You said “worth.” Your value is inestimable.
Hannibal– I like you. I like you very much. You make me feel important. You make me feel like dancing.
Hannibal: Splendid. What shall I play?
Anything.
Hannibal: I am very good on “The Flight of the Bumble Bee.”
Could anything be more appropriate– the bees come home and find the honey gone! Someone is going to be stung. Play– Hannibal!
