Act I, Scene II Flashcards
Jeff: I trust you had a pleasant sleepless night?
Lovely, thank you. Not a wink.
Florence: You’ve just missed Hannibal’s recital.
I heard it. As a matter of fact, it’s what brought me out of my room.
Florence: You wouldn’t believe it, Mrs. Savage, but Hannibal never touched a violin until last year.
What makes you think I wouldn’t believe it, my dear? Was it something you composed yourself, Hannibal?
Fairy: Mathematics’ loss was certainly our gain.
Now, I don’t quite follow that, Fairy.
Hannibal: Fairy knows I used to be a statistician.
Thank you– now I’m straight.
Fairy: Give him a fraction to multiply.
I’m afraid I wouldn’t know whether he was right or not.
Hannibal: …I was supposed to keep my finger on the pulse of the public and my ear to the ground.
A rather vulnerable position, was it not?
Hannibal: Very. I was fired and replaced by a computer.
I should think you’d hate electricity, too.
Fairy: Oh! That reminds me. May we ask you a personal question, Mrs. Savage?
They’re the only ones worth asking, my dear.
Florence: A little bird told us that you used to be an actress. We’re bursting with curiosity. Is it true?
Oh– that. Well, if being on the stage makes you an actress– then I guess it’s true.
Hannibal: I wonder if we’ve ever seen you, Mrs. Savage?
Not unless you were quick. Actually, I was only in two plays. The first was Macbeth.
Jeff: I should think you would have been a novel departure as Lady Macbeth.
I can’t tell you how much I agree with you– but they cast me as a witch.
Fairy: But you’re a perfect witch!
Thank you, dear.
Fairy: Please speak some witch talk for us.
I didn’t have any lines. If I had it probably would have cost me twice as much.
Jeff: Why did it cost you anything?
I backed the show. If I hadn’t put up the money– I couldn’t have played even the mute witch. But we made history. It’s the first play that ever closed before the reviews were out.
Fairy: Was it expensive?
Extremely– but worth it.
Florence: What a pity. Weren’t you discouraged?
Bitterly. But man is by nature optimistic. If he weren’t he’d eat his young. So I decided I’d write a play and star myself.
Fairy: You wrote a play!
I did indeed. With a courage born of ignorance and a plot out of wedlock.
Florence: What part did you play then?
Naturally– the lead. ‘Not Guilty’– starring Ethel P. Savage.
Jeff: What does the “P” stand for?
I haven’t the faintest idea. My numerologist said I needed it in my name for luck. He was right. We ran a year.
Fairy: What was the play about?
A mother who’d murdered a man and was defended by a young woman lawyer who turns out to be her own daughter. I had red hair and died in my daughter’s arms every night and two matinees a week just as the curtain came down and the jury whispered– “Not Guilty.” Oh, I’ve never had a better time in my life.
Hannibal: I gather the notices were good that time?
Well, they were sincere. But it didn’t make any difference.
Florence: What did they say?
The Times said my play set the theatre back fifty years. It couldn’t possibly– because I stole the plot from Madame X, and that’s only forty years old.
Fairy: Wouldn’t you think they’d know?
But the Wall Street Journal was wonderful. It said I brought something new to the theatre.
Jeff: What did Wall Street say?
It said I had a “tenacious mediocrity unhampered by taste.”
Jeff: But that wasn’t good.
It was perfect. In our ads we simply said “Tenacious” and “Unhampered.”
Jeff: And you ran a year?
We’d have been running yet if my daughter hadn’t come home and stopped me. Oh, I know I was bad and audiences only came to laugh at me. But we both had a good time. What more can you ask? I do miss it. Oh, well. My turn is coming.
Florence: Oh–oh!
What’s– the matter?
Fairy: It will only make you unhappy.
Now just a moment. I know what the paper is going to say so there is nothing you can hide from me. I’ve just been waiting for it to happen.
Jeff: Waiting for what to happen, Mrs. Savage?
Why– why, what it says in the paper.
Jeff: But we don’t know what it says in the paper.
Then why were you trying to keep me from seeing it?