Act 1 Flashcards
Lights up:
So the fella’s wife says, “Alrighty, but where did I park the car?”
Millie: She lost the car!
She lost it!
Norma: Oh, dont encourage him, Mrs Sunderson. Bob goes on with those zingers all day at the office!
I’ve got a million of them!
Millie: I wish I’d had spry when I was suffering the curse of Bride’s Biscuits
So do I!
Jim: That’s ok, I’ll make do.
Sardines?
Norma: I do! I really do!
Perhaps I should give Jim a hand.
Norma: Save your excitement until after you’ve survived one, Millie.
Would anyone care for a cigarette?
Millie: Perhaps later bob, Kitty’s wearing fur and its such a devil to get the odor out.
Alright then. Well, I’d like to propose a toast.
Millie: Let’s see if he can finish before the ice melts
Oh, you! A toast, to Jim and Norma Baxter, the best next-door neighbours, and friends, anyone ever had. And to Mr. Sunderson - it’s a pleasure to work for you, but even moreso to welcome you and your lovely wife as new friends.
Theodore: …… How long have you been on the personnel security board?
Since it’s inception, sir. Marshall appointed me in ‘48.
Norma: oh, jim, really. Im blushing. Thank you sir. Its my honor.
An honor for us both.
Theo: thats why I requested this gathering. To celebrate your next bold step in service to our country.
I’m sorry, sir?
Jim: No, mrs sunderson, i think thats the word other people use.
The word is immaterial.
Jim: Perhaps it’s because they’re not unstable
No, Jim.
Norma: They’re sick and demented, the poor souls
But I work in personnel, Im no analyst. I wouldnt begin to know how to check for mental deficiency
Theo: …. They read motion picture magazines. Attend the opera.
So we interview every fellow whos seen the opera?
Theo: … this is precisely the sort of silly speculation a proper criterion will avoid!
Absolutely, sir. I will consider very carefully what the department should be looking for.
Theo: And the hens have hatched a plan! To spend our money, right martindale?
Appears that way, sir.
Jim: Good night, sir.
I’ll help you collect your car, sir.
Norma: Bob Martindale, are you having man sex in our house?
No, Norma, that was me walking through a door. I know it’s all a bit foreign to you, but man sex looks totally different.
Jim: Bob, about what Sunderson said -
Not a concern. Just be happy I got a promotion. It’s good news.
Norma: … Just the obvious queens, like Truett Sharpe? And the real tramps, like Barbara Grant?
Well, Barbara Grant can’t be our model. She’s in a class by herself. Most popular gal in the translation department.
Norma: … and a snazzy dresser. But she’s as loose as the nickel slots in Reno.
Barbara Grant never paid for a meal or slept on her own sheets a night in her adult life
Jim: Barbara Grant sounds fantastic
Half of washington seems to think so.
Norma: People who don’t use discretion, I suppose. We don’t really have a choice, do we Bob?
But just people like Truett, with his limp handshake and ascots, for God’s sake. Or Barbara Grant. Sunderson’s right, the Department would be vulnerable if someone made their activities public.
Jim: We can take a hint. The sisters of sappho want to be alone.
Try the sofa, it’s easy on your back.
Norma: I intend to burn that sofa. Now go on, we’ve got dishes to do.
Good night, girls.
Norma: Oh, Bob, your briefcase is still in our bedroom
Of course. I’ll be right over. What would I do without you, Mrs. Baxter?
Well, you’d lose your briefcase, we know that for sure.
G’night, Norma.
Norma: … And Millie, well, you know… I’m concerned, Bob.
There’s no reason to be perturbed -
Norma: When the department first started rooting out communists, it was only a few dozen very obvious sympathizers.
We have been careful. Over four years without incident.
Norma: But circumstances have changed -
No, they haven’t. And that’s the type of thinking that causes trouble. We know how to get around the system because we created it.
Norma: the whole thing has blown up, Bob. McCarthy’s made it his personal mission.
Nobody’s taking senator McCarthy seriously.
Norma: The newspapers certainly are.
Newspapers don’t set policy.
Norma: … then the four of us… we lose everything. Are you sure we’re safe?
I’m sure.
Millie: Bob!
I’m home.
Kitty: How?
The trolley, as usual.
Kitty: But you were just on the phone.
Was I?
Millie: You remember poor aunt regina, Bob darling?
Poor, poor aunt regina.
Kitty: So sorry to rush off, Bob.
Pleasure to see you, Mrs. Sunderson.
Kitty: Oh, whats the show, Bob?
I wonder what you mean.
Millie: The show we’re seeing tonight, Bob. On our little suprise date.
Oh! Something Cole Porter, I think. Paris, or anything goes. It escapes me.
Kitty: Ta! (Exits)
What was all that about?
Jim: I thought that wackadoo would never leave. This is a nice suprise.
Looking for Norma. She left work.
Millie: in the middle of the afternoon?
Sent a note, she wasnt feeling well. I tried phoning here, but no one answered.
Jim: … Our principal’s retirement party is tonight. I’ll need a wife.
If she’d hired a car she would’ve been here by now.
Millie: Do you think she went to a doctor? What was wrong?
I don’t know, I hadn’t seen her since this morning. Meetings. We let six more people go today. Thats 91 in three weeks; for those keeping score. Jack Peurifoy us delighted. He’s reporting the body count in a senate committee hearing as we speak.
Jim: Oh. God, Bob, I’m sorry.
The problem is Lafayette Park. Men arrested for loitering late in the evening. Looking to screw in the bushes, the bathroom stalls.
Jim: Lafayette Park after dark. Not pretty.
What do you know of it?
Jim: Enough to stay away.
We’ve seen it come up so many times we don’t even have a conversation about it anymore. If Lafayette park is on your record, you’re out, No exceptions.
Jim: Well there’s only one reason they’d be there.
Generally, I’d agree. But Oswald Neeves swore today his citation had all been a misunderstanding, that he was walking his brother’s dog, didn’t know the area he was in. And the worst of it is, I think he really was just walking that dog.
Millie: Then why fire him?
Because he was arrested for loitering in lafayette park.
Millie: but if he didn’t -
We can’t take chances, Mildred. Think of the public perception. That kind of information, it leaks out, what would people think?
Millie: that he was walking a dog?
No. That’s not what they would think.
Norma: I’m fine. Hello… everyone.
You left without even speaking to me.
Norma: … When could I have? You recieved my note, did you not?
Yes, but -
Norma: say whatever you like. Lie. It’s what we do. It’s all we do.
Just what has come over you?
Norma: … We don’t even get to have the real relationships we’re supposed to be protecting, because we gotta be show ponies for the safety and comfort of people we can’t stand.
We’re in a very special situation these days -
