Act 1 Flashcards
Lights up:
So the fella’s wife says, “Alrighty, but where did I park the car?”
Millie: She lost the car!
She lost it!
Norma: Oh, dont encourage him, Mrs Sunderson. Bob goes on with those zingers all day at the office!
I’ve got a million of them!
Millie: I wish I’d had spry when I was suffering the curse of Bride’s Biscuits
So do I!
Jim: That’s ok, I’ll make do.
Sardines?
Norma: I do! I really do!
Perhaps I should give Jim a hand.
Norma: Save your excitement until after you’ve survived one, Millie.
Would anyone care for a cigarette?
Millie: Perhaps later bob, Kitty’s wearing fur and its such a devil to get the odor out.
Alright then. Well, I’d like to propose a toast.
Millie: Let’s see if he can finish before the ice melts
Oh, you! A toast, to Jim and Norma Baxter, the best next-door neighbours, and friends, anyone ever had. And to Mr. Sunderson - it’s a pleasure to work for you, but even moreso to welcome you and your lovely wife as new friends.
Theodore: …… How long have you been on the personnel security board?
Since it’s inception, sir. Marshall appointed me in ‘48.
Norma: oh, jim, really. Im blushing. Thank you sir. Its my honor.
An honor for us both.
Theo: thats why I requested this gathering. To celebrate your next bold step in service to our country.
I’m sorry, sir?
Jim: No, mrs sunderson, i think thats the word other people use.
The word is immaterial.
Jim: Perhaps it’s because they’re not unstable
No, Jim.
Norma: They’re sick and demented, the poor souls
But I work in personnel, Im no analyst. I wouldnt begin to know how to check for mental deficiency
Theo: …. They read motion picture magazines. Attend the opera.
So we interview every fellow whos seen the opera?
Theo: … this is precisely the sort of silly speculation a proper criterion will avoid!
Absolutely, sir. I will consider very carefully what the department should be looking for.
Theo: And the hens have hatched a plan! To spend our money, right martindale?
Appears that way, sir.
Jim: Good night, sir.
I’ll help you collect your car, sir.
Norma: Bob Martindale, are you having man sex in our house?
No, Norma, that was me walking through a door. I know it’s all a bit foreign to you, but man sex looks totally different.
Jim: Bob, about what Sunderson said -
Not a concern. Just be happy I got a promotion. It’s good news.
Norma: … Just the obvious queens, like Truett Sharpe? And the real tramps, like Barbara Grant?
Well, Barbara Grant can’t be our model. She’s in a class by herself. Most popular gal in the translation department.
Norma: … and a snazzy dresser. But she’s as loose as the nickel slots in Reno.
Barbara Grant never paid for a meal or slept on her own sheets a night in her adult life