A JOKE A DAY 1 Flashcards
What did the punching bag say to the boxer?
Hit me baby, one more time.
Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
Because everyone needs a rough draft.
What can you catch but not throw?
Your breath.
Why is the obtuse angle sad?
Because it’s never right.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say “hello from the other side”.
What do a coder and a plant have in common?
STEM
What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep going until you get a reaction.
Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math?
Because it’s easy as pi.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Hahaha
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
With block parties!
Why did the picture go to prison?
Because it was framed.
Why can’t you keep pimples in prison?
Because they keep breaking out.
Why do all judges get As in English class?
Because they know all about sentences.
What did Harry Potter do when he went bald?
Got a Hedwig!
What do you call a rash on a pig?
Hogwarts
I tried writing with a broken pencil, but it was pointless.
Hahaha!
What do you call a cow without a GPS?
Udderly lost.
What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18?
Adolescents.
What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
What do you call a pooch in heat?
Hot dog
Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
Where’s popcorn?
Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus?
It’s okay. He woke up.
Can February March?
No, but April May.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
POP
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.
What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.
How are false teeth like starst?
They come out at night.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What is computer’s favourite snack?
Computer chips.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
What is a tornado’s favourite game to play?
Twister.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.
Why did the student eat her homework.
Because the teacher told her it was a piece of cake.
When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner - it’s always 90 degrees.
Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert.
