A Case Of Humpty Dumpty Flashcards
Holly : Do you swear…
Me : Yeah, sometimes - when I lose me temper. Like the other day I hit my fumb wiv an ‘ammer, and said…
Holly : no, no, no. I mean, do you swear by Delia‘s cookery book that the eggidence… sorry, the evidence you shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Me : Oh that? Yeah, righto…
Holly : Thank you. You are a builder, yes?
Me : That is correct. I am a builder.
Holly : A builder of walls?
Me : Walls, ‘ouses, swimmin’ pools. You name it, I’ll build it!
Holly : Yes, well, it is one wall in particular that we are interested in today. Yolkingham City wall.
Me : Right - yeah, that was one o’ mine.
Holly : You built it?
Me : Wiv me own ‘ands.
Holly : And could you tell the court who hired you to build it?
Me : Yes, I could. Definitely. Yes.
Holly : Well?
Me : Well what?
Holly : Who was it?
Me : Oh, it was the council, wasn’t it?
Holly : Yolkingham city council?
Me : Of course. What other council’s going to hire me to build a wall around Yolkingham? What’s the matter wiv ‘em?
Holly : How long did it take to build the wall?
Me : Ooh, let me see now…………..A week.
Holly: A week?
Me : Well, not including Sundays, obviously.
Holly : You built a high wall around the entire city in six days?
Me : We don’t ‘ang about mate.
Holly : We?
Me : Yeah. Me and my crack team, Duck and Goose.
Holly : Duck and Goose? An independent expection has found that many of the bricks on top of the wall were laid without mortar.
Me : What? Oh, er, yeah, we ran out, didn’t we.
