10 things we don’t say

Question 1

«Come here»

1. Why?
2. What should you say?

Answer 1

1) it’s threatening
- gives the impression that they have a choice ❌
__________________________________________
«Could I talk to you for a minute?» ✅

Question 2

«You wouldn’t understand»

1. Why?
2. What to say instead?

Answer 2

1) it’s insulting
- doesn’t blame the other for your potential failure ❌

__________________________________________
« let me explain» ✅

Question 3

«Those are rules»

1. Why?
2. What should we do?

Answer 3

1) make us sound weak ❌

__________________________________________
- put the rules and explain how they can benefit the caller. ✅

Question 4

« I don’t have to explain myself to you»

1. Why?

Answer 4

1) shows you can’t explain

Question 5

« What do you want us to do?»

1. Why?
2. Should say instead?

Answer 5

1) evasion of responsibility
- gives control to the caller ❌

__________________________________________
«I understand. I’d like to help, but this is not a police issue. Here’s how you can defend your rights» ✅

~ Offers help and point the caller towards a solution. ✅

Question 6

« Calm down»

1. Why?
2. Should say instead?
   2.1 : benefits?

Answer 6

1) it never works ❌

__________________________________________
« It’s okay, talk to me. What’s the trouble?» ✅

~ reassuring / confirms our authority ✅

Question 7

« What’s YOUR problem?»

1. Why?
2. Should say instead?

Answer 7

1) you VS caller ❌

__________________________________________
«What’s THE problem?»✅

Question 8

«I’m not repeating myself»

1. Why?
2. Should say instead?

Answer 8

1) it’s OUR job to do it

__________________________________________
«It’s important that you understand this. Let me say it again and listen carefully»✅

Question 9

« I’m doing this for your own good»

1. Why?
2. Should say instead?

Answer 9

1) Caller won’t believe it
__________________________________________
- show to the caller the benefits of doing what we ask ✅

Question 10

«Try to be reasonable»

1. Why?
2. Should say instead?

Answer 10

1) Create conflict
- put responsibility on the CALLER ❌
__________________________________________
« Let me see if I understand your position»✅

~ make them realized what they’re saying isn’t right

~ make them see you understand