Mind Line Strategies Flashcards
- Chunking Down on Chunk Size
Main overriding question: How specifically?
eg. Saying what ‘mean’ things specifically? What makes a thing said ‘mean’? What specifically do you mean by this term ‘mean’?
What cancer or cancers specifically cause death? How specifically do those cancers cause death? Over what period of time? How does remission play into this understanding?
How late do I have to arrive for it to mean this? How specifically does my being late carry all of that meaning? If I arrived late by 9.5 minutes rather than 10 will you know I still care about you?
How much stress do you need to experience in order to begin to eat chocolate? How specifically does feeling stressed cause you to eat chocolate?
Do you think management never does anything it says? What specifically does management need to do in order for you to believe that you can make a difference?
How much makes up this evaluation of too much? So if it cost $4 would that be too much? By lowering the price, I then can count on your purchasing the product?
Specific questions you can ask:
- How / what / when / with whom / at what place specifically?
- Reality Strategy Chunk Down
Chunking down the belief systems and paradigms that people offer as the magic that runs their meaning box. Here we find their strategy for it.
EG. Eyes narrowing = Feeling depressed, might go like this… eyes narrow = feeling judged and put down. External visual awareness of her facial expressions, then he says “she’s judging me”, which leads to “I don’t measure up to her expectations”, then a feeling of tension in the stomach, an ache in the back of the neck and head, and remember of other times of criticism.
Key Questions:
- How did you arrive at that understanding and conclusion?
- How do you know that you feel depressed?
- What lets you know that it is this and not that? (depression and not fear)
- How do you represent that belief?
- How will you know if and when it does not hold true?
- What comes first? What comes next? How do you have each piece coded representationally?
- You’re absolutely sure you don’t have that in this other format?
What does the benefit of chunking down (and up) provide?
It plays a crucial role in the process of understanding a person, or a concept.
We can ask the question, ‘At what level of abstraction or specificity does this person speak and think?’
We can take this into consideration when we’re building and maintaining rapport.
If we suspect a person speaks globally, then we will want to chunk them down.
- Reframing EB by redefining it (Content Reframing) - What is the overriding key question to ask for this reframe?
Here we simply say, EB isn’t this, it’s actually this…
Eg. Saying mean things makes you a bad person > Actually I’m not saying mean things, rather I’m attempting to express some kind of truths and understandings that I have.
- What other meanings can I give to this behaviour?
- What other meanings have others given to this kind of behaviour?
- What other significance does this behaviour hold in other cultures?
- If you did see it this way, what would you see or have instead?
- EB isn’t what you’ve described, it’s this other thing (see example)
- Reframing the IS by redefining it (Content Reframing) - What is the overriding key question to ask for this reframe?
We can suggest for any given internal state other behaviours that would more appropriately fit as the IS.
Eg. Saying mean things makes you a bad person > I’ll show you a bad person, come look at Hitler and what he did.
- What IS really means is
- What IS really causes
- That EB doens’t mean that, it means this… eg. Saying mean things makes you a bad person, no, what if it makes you honest? Or transparent?
- If you really want to see lazy, let me show you my teenage sons week.
- Whats another way of looking at the EB, eg it’s not lazy, it’s strong relaxation habits.
- What I really consider IS is this other EB, eg. What I’d really consider rude is if he did x
Reflexively apply EB / IS to self or listener - What are key questions to ask here?
Here we apply the verb or action from one person to another. Eg. Switching the verb from self to the listener, or from the listener back to the self.
You can also not only switch the referent but also provide an example. EG. To you losing weight might mean suffering, but to Oprah Winfrey it meant great career success.
Key questions
- What would happen if I applied the criteria or meaning to the source with which it came?
- Would the speaker like to have this same idea applied to him or her?
- What if as the listener I applied this back to the speaker?
- What if as the speaker I apply it back to myself?
You can also reverse the presupposition…
- Instead of ‘You’re being late means I don’t care for you’ you can reverse that and say ‘how does me being late mean I do care for you?
- How could stress actually cause you NOT to eat chocolate (rather than stress causing you too eat chocolate)
What is Reversing the Presupposition?
Note: This comes under 5 & 6. Reflexively apply EB / IS to self or listener.
This is asking how EB is opposite of what they say EB is…
- How is the whole thing actually the opposite of what you thought it was?
In what way (does / can / might / could / would / will) EB actually mean or cause the opposite of EB.
eg. Rather than thinking ‘I am just not worthwhile’, we ask, ‘what if we look for all the evidence you ARE worthwhile?’ or rather than being late means I don’t care about you, we say ‘In what way does my being late actually mean I care FOR you?’ or ‘How could stress actually cause you NOT to eat chocolate?’
eg. What if you became serious about being relaxed? In what way will the fact you have personal flaws you are aware of actually support you in developing a better relationship than if you had no flaws at all, OR you weren’t aware of them?
eg. How might the cost of not having the product actually cause you to save more by purchasing it?
- Counter Example Framing
We counter WITH evidence. (Behind this mindline is most people almost always demonstrate the very thing they claim they cannot do).
eg. Saying mean things makes you a bad person! So you’ve never said a mean thing to anybody? or ‘When you said X to me last week, that made you a bad person?’
eg. Cancer causes death… Have you ever heard of anyone who had cancer and lived? Noone ever experiences remission?
eg. Have you ever been late and still cared?
Here you can use Cartesian Logic…
- What will happen if you do? eg. Was there ever a time when someone was late and they cared?
- What won’t happen if you do? eg. Was there ever a time when someone was not late and they cared?
- What will happen if you don’t? eg. Was there ever a time when someone was late and they didn’t care?
- What won’t happen if you don’t? eg. Was there ever a time when someone was not late and they didn’t care?
eg. Oh this stuff is just too hard to learn? … Oh my, what a learning, where did you learn that?
eg. I have no particular expectations… wow, how did you develop that expectation about yourself?
eg. I want more confidence because I don’t have any confidence… My, you sound pretty confident about that?
Key thinking…
- Invert the belief
- Make it into a universal statement or question
- Was there ever a time when EB was not equal to IS?
- Not IS means not not EB
How to deal with identity statements only eg. I am Depressed?
The equation becomes Person/Self/I = Depressed (insert identity).
Identity exists at a higher logical level than other beliefs. And must be deconstructed…
- How do you know this?
- Do you have these feelings all the time?
- What specific experiences, actions, circumstances has lead you to this conclusion?
- How are you currently, in this moment, experiencing this emotion?
- How and in what ways are you more than this emotion?
- What lets you know these behaviours / feelings are depression and not another emotion?
- What behaviours would I see if I saw you ‘depressed’?
- Positive Prior Intention Framing
Here we ask the question: What positive intention lies behind this behaviour?
We’re assuming every behaviour and belief has some positive intent driving it.
What could a person seek to accomplish of value here?
What secondary gain may one seek to obtain or not lose?
- Positive Prior Cause Framing
Here we don’t just find a positive cause for the situation, we also toss in positive framing about the situation. In layman terms it’s finding an excuse but framing it in a way that I really would have had it another way if I could.
What will happen if you continue to think this way?
Do you like this outcome as it plays out into the future?
EG. Sorry I’m late, I had looked forward to this meeting with you all week and really wanted to meet with you. So I do apologise for getting here late, I should have considered the traffic at this hour and the possibility of an accident - which of course happened.
Or.
If hatefulness or ugliness caused me to say those things you consider mean, then I would agree with you and immediately change. But I cut you short because I had a terrible day at work, felt unresourceful, and just didn’t think about your feelings as I usually do and as I want to.
Or.
You say that undoubtedly because that describes your experience with a few people who you knew got cancer. Since you use your experiences to make such learnings, let’s visit Hospice to expand our experiential base of knowledge.
Or.
With your inquisitive mind you have identified a possible cause of your eating chocolate habit. Just how willing would you look at other reasons that prompt this eating of chocolate?
- First Outcome Framing
We move into the future, to a time when the formula itself gives birth to outcomes and consequences.
This direction is taking us to the outcome of the behaviour / belief / interaction.
There we explore its effects and the value of these effects.
Key questions
- What will happen if you continue to think this way?
- Do you like this outcome as it plays out into the future?
EG. Saying mean things will make you a bad person… in the long run that belief will prevent people from speaking the truth to one another. How acceptable do you find that consequence for yourself and your relationships?
eg. Cancer causes death… A belief like that, as with all beliefs, will tend to operate as a self-fulfilling prophecy in your life. A belief like that leads to people not exploring their options.
EG. When you show up late, it means you don’t care about me… When you keep telling me that my being late means I don’t care about you, I feel frustrated and put off and wonder if we should stay together. Is that the response you want from me?
OR
By you saying that I think such a thinking will cause us to spend our evenings unpleasantly arguing over who’s right about this.
EG. Stress causes me to eat chocolate… are you prepared to gain weight and possibly get diabetes if you continue to believe that. Or would you prefer to lose weight and experience good health.
- Outcome of Outcome Framing
Here we take the first outcome and consider the long term outcome of that outcome. It’s the effects of those effects.
Key questions
- What outcome may arise after this first outcome that, when you shift your thinking to it, creates a whole new frame of reference?
- The issue may seem to be this internal state at this point in time, but what will the issue become later, and what will that turn into after that?
EG. Isn’t thinking of cancer only in terms of death a perspective that leads to depression and resignation?
EG. Your being late means you don’t care… What I think about the effect of that statement, it seems to undermine your feelings of being loved by me and to call into question the validity of my love. What will eventually happen if you feel less loved and I feel my love more invalidated. Doesn’t build anything solid between us does it?
