Advanced Directing Scene Flashcards

1
Q

GAIL: … So anyway… the squab looks good. What do you think?

A

LYNETTE: I need to have an affair.

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2
Q

GAIL: Hmm? Did you say something?

A

LYNETTE: I said, Gail, that I need to have an affair.

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3
Q

GAIL: You don’t mean that.

A

LYNETTE: Yes I do.

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4
Q

GAIL: An affair?

A

LYNETTE: Yes.

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5
Q

GAIL: You?

A

LYNETTE: Uh-huh.

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6
Q

GAIL: But you and Richard-

A

LYNETTE: I know.

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7
Q

GAIL: Then I don’t understand.

A

LYNETTE: Neither do I.

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8
Q

GAIL: So basically you’re sitting here telling me for no good reason that you want to—

A

LYNETTE: Not want. Need. Capital N. The big guns.

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9
Q

GAIL: Why?

A

LYNETTE: I don’t know. An overwhelming biological necessity for alternate body types. I don’t know.

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10
Q

GAIL: I don’t think this is the place we should be discussing this.

A

LYNETTE: This is exactly the place. You are exactly the person. Gail. If I don’t sleep with someone other than my husband very soon, I won’t be responsible for myself.

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11
Q

GAIL: Lynette.

A

LYNETTE: Time bomb. Tick. Tick. Tick.

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12
Q

GAIL: Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?

A

LYNETTE: No. Tick.

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13
Q

GAIL: Have you met someone?

A

LYNETTE: No. Although when you get right down to it, everybody’s a candidate.

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14
Q

GAIL: You’re kidding, right? All right, joke’s over, very funny, ha ha, you’re kidding.

A

LYNETTE: Gail, you don’t know what it’s like. I can’t work. I can’t sleep. All I know is I want a hot roll in the hay. That’s the extent of my cognizant abilities.

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15
Q

GAIL: I think you should try to show a little control.

A

LYNETTE: Yesterday I looked at a clock. I forgot how to tell time.

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16
Q

GAIL: What are you drinking?

A

LYNETTE: I’m losing my mind.

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17
Q

GAIL: You certainly are. Richard-

A

LYNETTE: Is sweet and kind and good, I know. He adapts no matter how crazy I am. “You’re right honey, I’ll be more careful, I’ll try not to let my heels touch the floor in that irritating manner anymore.” I could tell him I want to chuck it all for a sugar cane farm in Borneo and he’d be researching farming techniques and plane fares within the hour.

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18
Q

GAIL: So it seems to me you have nothing to complain about.

A

LYNETTE: I’m not complaining. But God, if I don’t find someone to sear me to the bones I am going to explode. Little pieces of me flying out my office window and over New York, settling on some old ladies in the park. Explode.

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19
Q

GAIL: I don’t know what to say. You’ve put me in a difficult position. I love Richard.

A

LYNETTE: I do too.

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20
Q

GAIL: He and George are best friends.

A

LYNETTE: Like brothers.

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21
Q

GAIL: And you’re my best friend—

A

LYNETTE: Yes?

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22
Q

GAIL: Yes what?

A

LYNETTE: I’m your best friend.

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23
Q

GAIL: Yes.

A

LYNETTE: You’d do anything for me.

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24
Q

GAIL: Of course I would, you know that. What are you driving at?

A

LYNETTE: Sleep with me.

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25
Q

GAIL: What?!

A

LYNETTE: Sleep with me, Gail. Make love to me until I beg you to stop.

26
Q

GAIL: You can’t be serious.

A

LYNETTE: I couldn’t live with myself if I did it with another man, not to mention what it would do to Richard if he found out. But you—

27
Q

GAIL: Are astonished.

A

LYNETTE: You’re a woman, Gail. It wouldn’t be cheating. It would be experimenting.

28
Q

GAIL: You’re out of your mind.

A

LYNETTE: Will you do it?

29
Q

GAIL: Of course not.

A

LYNETTE: Why not?

30
Q

GAIL: In the first place, no offense, but I’m not physically attracted to you.

A

LYNETTE: Liar.

31
Q

GAIL: What did you call me?

A

LYNETTE: You’re lying. You’ve wanted me from the day we met.

32
Q

GAIL: Oh, now I agree with you, Lynette, you have gone over the deep end.

A

LYNETTE: You stare at me. You watch my mouth when I speak. When we kiss hello you let your nose linger in my hair a little bit longer than necessary and you breathe in.

33
Q

GAIL: I can’t really have this conversation anymore, okay? Can we order? I think you should see a doctor.

A

LYNETTE: You’re angry.

34
Q

GAIL: I’m not, I’m flabbergasted. To think that after all these years of what I thought was a close friendship you would suddenly come up with this insane notion that I— that we— I’m married, Lynette.

A

LYNETTE: I know.

35
Q

GAIL: And I love George. Not to mention I’m one hundred percent heterosexual.

A

LYNETTE: I’m going out of my mind.

36
Q

GAIL: I wish I could help you. I really do.

A

LYNETTE: You love me.

37
Q

GAIL: Of course I do. But that doesn’t mean I desire you in a sexual manner.

A

LYNETTE: What about New Year’s Eve?

38
Q

GAIL: What about it?

A

LYNETTE: New Year’s Eve, 1991. The four of us spent it together. I drank too many peach margaritas.

39
Q

GAIL: I remember.

A

LYNETTE: I got sick. Richard ended up carrying me into the bathroom and you stayed to help.

40
Q

GAIL: You were so sick. Richard was so angry.

A

LYNETTE: I thought I’d never stop throwing up. When I finally did, I laid down on the bathroom floor, closed my eyes, and you kissed me. On the mouth.

41
Q

GAIL: I didn’t.

A

LYNETTE: You did. For a good long time.

42
Q

GAIL: You must have dreamt it, Lynette, I think I would remember—

A

LYNETTE: I remember thinking “how soft her mouth is”. You held my lower lip for an extra second. Then you let go and the air hissed out of me like a balloon.

43
Q

GAIL: I did not kiss you, Lynette. I mean, I may have given you a peck on the cheek because I felt sorry for you, but beyond that you are mistaken.

A

LYNETTE: I felt your tongue.

44
Q

GAIL: Lynette! This is really inappropriate.

A

LYNETTE: Why are you so against this? You have me, I have my fling— everybody wins.

45
Q

GAIL: Except Richard, and George.

A

LYNETTE: We don’t tell them. This is a secret between friends. Inviolable.

46
Q

GAIL: It’s not that simple.

A

LYNETTE: Why not?

47
Q

GAIL: Lynette, look— do you want me to fix you up with someone? There are a lot of lesbians in the music business.

A

LYNETTE: I want you.

48
Q

GAIL: No you don’t.

A

LYNETTE: I do. You’re my friend, I can trust you, there’s no danger of falling in love. I was going to say you’re honest but you can’t even admit to kissing me when we both know—

49
Q

GAIL: All right, all right, I kissed you, I kissed you! I’d had a little to drink myself that night— Can I help you?

A

LYNETTE: You were stone cold sober. The antibiotics, remember?

50
Q

GAIL: You looked so pretty. Lying there with your hair spread out over the mat. So vulnerable and so… beautiful, actually.

A

LYNETTE: Sleep with me, Gail.

51
Q

GAIL: I can’t.

A

LYNETTE: Why not?

52
Q

GAIL: Because I’m in love with you.

A

LYNETTE: What?

53
Q

GAIL: I’m in love with you, Lynette. You think I go around kissing drunken smelly women on the mouth because it’s a thing of mine?

A

LYNETTE: But I thought—

54
Q

GAIL: That my heart couldn’t possibly leap every time I see you? That I don’t feel profound jealousy when you and Richard reach for each other like any other happily married couple? That my feelings can’t be real?

A

LYNETTE: No, I mean…

55
Q

GAIL: What, Lynette? What did you think?

A

LYNETTE: I don’t know. A harmless crush. Like schoolgirls.

56
Q

GAIL: Not exactly.

A

LYNETTE: No. So where does this leave us?

57
Q

GAIL: I don’t know.

A

LYNETTE: Maybe I do drink too much.

58
Q

GAIL: Maybe.

A

LYNETTE: I have a problem.

59
Q

GAIL: Yes.

A

LYNETTE: And you have a problem.

60
Q

GAIL: Yes.

A

LYNETTE: What do you think we should do?

61
Q

GAIL: I think we should order.

A

END OF SCENE