A1 - Cocky & Funny Openers Flashcards
Piece of Meat
Don’t just look at me and keep walking! I’m not just a piece of meat you know! I have feeling too! Stop and talk to me.
Flirting Eyes
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
Catching her look at you opener
Hi, I just couldn’t help noticing you…(pause)…STARING at me! (let sink in) Do you always maintain such strong eye contact? Or only with guys like me that you can’t help it with?
Attacked by a Yorkie
You poor thing! Your Pants/skirt is all ripped up the side/back! you look like you were attacked by a Yorkie! Come on, we gotta get you new clothes! (grab arm) The Salvation Army is this way. (Acting Bitchy?) Or maybe you need a rabies shot! Ok, well if I see you foaming at the mouth I’m calling an ambulance.
Can’t Afford the Whole Shirt
You Poor Thing! You’re too poor to afford the full shirt! Do you want a dollar or something? We gotta get you a real shirt! Come on, I’m taking you shopping at Wal-Mart
Von Dutch-Style Hat
Hey, I like your hat…Let me guess, you’re a long-haul trucker?
Short Girl Big High Heels
Those are some pretty tall shoes. You must be like what, 4 foot 7 without them?
Animal Print Clothing
Hey, do you know how many (leopards/tigers/etc) had to die for that (Shrit/skirt/etc)?? The animal rights people ill have your ass!
Leather Clothing
You’re wearing a Leather skirt/boots! Some poor cow had to die so you could show off your legs!
Pretty Earrings
Those are some pretty earrings. I didn’t know toy stores sold earrings like that!
Cute Ring
What a cute ring (or watch or whatever)! Did you get that with the kids meal at McDonalds?
Precious Purse
Wow, that’s huge purse. You don’t have some little dog named precious in there, do you?
Gun in your Purse
So what’s with the big purse? Are you carrying a shotgun in there?
White After Labor Day
Hey, you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day! I’m gonna call the fashion police on you! What’s your name, I’m gonna report you right now!. (If she resists) Come on, wha’ts your name? You can’t run from the law, sooner or later they’ll catch you. (Later) Well you better go see the fashion police anyway, you know, do the right thing and turn yourself in. Just don’t show up in bell-bottoms, you’ll get more charges laid against you.
Stain on Clothing
What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know how to do laundry?
Skimpy Outfit
Congratulations! (wait for her to say “What?”) That is the skimpiest outfit I’ve seen all day!
Noisy Shoes
Contgratulations! (Wait for her to say “What?”) You make more moise walking in those shoes than anyone else!
Roots Showing
Wow, how do you dy only the roots that dark color? That takes a lot of skill! (I mean look at it, it’s perfectly even all the way around)
Hands Off the Merchandise
(When she bumps into you) Hey Whoa…Hands off the merchandise! (pause) You know what, you’re cute, I changed my mind… just don’t touch the hot spots, ok? Try to control yourself until we get to know each other a little more.
She’s picking you up
(She bumps into you and says”sorry”) It’s ok. I know you were just trying to pick me up. You know, if you want to meet me all you have to do is say hi. You don’t have to physically hit me.
She’s stalking me
(woman walking behind you) Stop following me, I’m getting that stalker vibe from you! (Pause) And stop staring at my ass! (I wasn’t looking at your ass) Come on, I can feel your eyes burning a hole in the back of my pants! you can take a snap shot of it for $4.99, as long as it’s your personal enjoyment. Don’t show it to all your friends.
Short Stalker
(woman walking behind you or standing behind you) Hey, are ou staring at my ass?
Stalker 3
Hey are you stalking me? I’m so tired of hot women folling me around all day, it gets annoying
She’s seen you before
(She say’s she’s seen you at….) Oh, so you were checking me out then?
New Girl Friend
You’re kinda cute. I think you’ll make a nice new girlfriend. Hey wait, I need a girl that can cook. You can’t? Ok, we’re broken up. Actually wait, you smell good, very alluring, actually wait! I’m allergic to that perfume. Oh man, we are soo broken up!
Fast food line
Damn, I-AM-SICK of this fast food. Do you know how to cook? No? ok we’re broken up then, I’m going to find a woman who can cook. (while she cracks up, talk to another chick, then come back) Ok, so you can’t cook. Well, what else do you have going for you? Are you adventurous?
my girlfriend thinks you’re hot.
(Walk up to the girl and say with a straight face)My girlfriend think’s your so hot.
Parole
(Standing next to a woman that isn’t loud so she can over hear you, Stretch your arms out wide to draw attention and say loudly) Yeap! First day off Parole. (turn over shoulder and give her a mischivous smile)
